Tag Archive | Gabe Flowers

Natural Hair Blues!

Natural Hair Blues

It’s a subject that I dealt with when I first became natural in May 2014. A subject that I rarely see natural girls talk about. A shameful feeling that I’m ready share. My Natural Hair Blues!

Coming from a history of 10 years in the corporate world, I was taught that there was no place for kinks and coils, especially in the “printing” industry which is largely white male dominated. As Althea Prince states in her book, “The Politics of Black Women’s Hair: “In the wider community, the Black woman’s natural hair falls low on the scale of beauty. I think it’s awful that society has nurtured this “Buckwheat” belief about short, kinky hair for years, and we bought into it! Shame on us. Unfortunately, this is the way that I was truly feeling when I first began my journey.

Living in Southern California doesn’t help. There aren’t many “natural girls” around for inspiration, in fact, many of the black woman I knew had weaves, their natural locs tucked up underneath.

I was dealing with these feelings intermittently, and very subconsciously. Not knowing my natural hair and how it worked also kept my confidence and self-esteem very low.

It showed its ugly head one day, and I was forced to deal with it. My husband surprised me for our 25th anniversary, bringing me to a high-end, luxurious Spa resort for a week. My hair was in twists. I was excited to be there, but immediately felt completely inadequate with my hair twisted. I actually felt “ugly”. I even cried at dinner that evening. My husband did everything he could to make me feel better.

I guess it was my first time out of my comfort zone. My first time not with my friends and those who loved me, and didn’t judge me because of what my hair looked like. Not that people were judging me, but my confidence just wasn’t there.

I continued to style my hair as I would at home, sporting a twist out and natural updos that week. The revelation took place when I realized that all but one of the other black women at the resort were all natural girls, wearing TWA’s (Teeny Weeny Afros), curls, and twist! I began to feel more confident, and haven’t looked back since!!

Things I love about being natural:
My hair is so versatile, mold-able like clay
Twists dry over night
My hair is long and thick (despite the 75% shrinkage)
Styles are endless
Twist outs are lasting longer
My hair is growing like a weed
My 4/b hair doesn’t tangle at all
I am an inspiration to other natural girls
My hair is living and breathing in its natural state
I’m feeling more confident, and beautiful

How did you feel about yourself when you first went natural?


Natural Hair Revelation

It’s been 4 months now that my hair has been naturally revealed! I am still learning so much, and the vlogs and blogs have been so helpful.

I finally had an opportunity to test twist out longevity. After 3 days of a twist out, my hair becomes very dry and brittle, and it’s time to put it into a protective style again. Applying large twists at night preserves the twist out for the next day. Gabe Flowers video is a fantastic tutorial for maintaining a twist out.

I’m also learning that as much as I like to wear my hair out, it’s really not good for your natural hair. The good news is that maintaining the hair in large twists at night allows my hair to keep its moisture. I don’t apply anything to my hair at night, I just take large amounts of hair, and make larger twists. In the morning when I take off the silk cap, my hair is very moist and soft. I apply Aveda Anit-Humectant Pomade to the twists before I take out the large twists. Applying Aveda Anit-Humectant Pomade keeps it moist all day. That’s how I’m able to continue wearing a twist out for more than 3 days.

I also begin using scarves for styling to protect the hair as the days progress. I’m still able to maintain the twist out and the curls.

I am an artist. I paint, draw and I used to throw pots with clay. Each medium is different, and has to be learned to achieve the look of the final art piece. My hair has become a medium. I have to learn how it acts with air, water, product, moisture, etc. to achieve the final look. It truly is a journey.


Two Months Into My Natural Hair

Well, it’s been 2 months since I started my Natural Hair Journey. It’s been a pretty smooth experience considering I knew very little about my natural hair. I have to say, it’s been more of an emotional journey which I’ll talk about in another blog.

I have started to develop a regimen, which is very important to maintain a healthy head of hair.

I’ve decided to have my hair washed and twisted at the hairdresser every 3 weeks for time sake.

After my wash and twist at the hairdresser, I leave in the twists for about 7 days. I continue to spray it with my coconut oil/water each morning and evening. I try to wear my twists pinned up in a ponytail to keep my hair protected and stretched.

After 7 days, I take the twist out. I make sure that I put pure coconut oil on my hands and hair before taking out the twists. This cuts down on the friction (which creates frizz).

I found a way to maintain my twist out by twisting my hair in large twist at night. This video by Gabe Flowers was fantastic! And it works!!! My hair is a similar texture and length as Gabe, and I find her videos very helpful and encouraging.

My hair still frizzes a lot in one particular area (left front). So I am still on a quest to find a product to help hold the frizz in that area.

After about 3 days, It’s time to wear a protective style again. I would like to wear my hair out longer, but it’s just too dry. I have a lot of hair, and even wearing it all in a ponytail is just too much hair to keep moisturized. I’m learning that the smaller the sections, the better it stays hydrated.

So I’ve been creating large twists, and pinning them up. I’m still able to wear scarves and headbands for style. My hair stays so soft this way. I’ll twist out again right before I get another wash.


Photo Jul 31, 7 11 39 AM