First Apartment

The time has come. After two years in the college dorms, my daughter has found full  independence, and is ready to spread her eagle wings in an apartment.

It’s always a little scary when your children spread their wings, and take that first leap. So naive, so innocent. You want to stand right under them with a safety net.

As impractical as it seems, my heart yearns to continue to be the mother God intended me to be right from the start. Funny how time moves you further and further from your natural ability to mother. If you’re not careful, it can leave a gaping hole.

Yet I stand from afar, watching, and praying. Filling my hole with hope and love.

The eagle’s launch is inevitable,. . .. and so she soars.

Advertisement

Letting go

The past is always a part of who you are. We all live in the present, but many of our choices are made based on past experiences. Unfortunately not all past experiences are good. So when do we let go of the past and move on? How do we know what do keep from our past, and what to discard?

Our brain creates emotional triggers from the things we experience, whether good or bad. Our brain has a tendency to refer back to the original experiences even when a new one happens. Sometimes this creates a false trigger even if the experience and situation is not exactly the same. This can lead to false assumptions and sometimes wrong decisions. So how do you watch out for this?

• Try to pin point the present feeling your having with a similar one from the past. (dig deep).
• Once you’ve determined the original feeling, write down all the ways the current situation differs. You’ll eventually realize that although the emotional feeling was triggered, more than likely the situation is not the same, and can be handled differently.

Things to remember:

• Holding on to the past, prevents you from growing in the future.
• Life happens until the moment you die.  If all you do is look back, you’ve stopped living.
• Stop being who you once were so you can become who you are today.
• Letting go is not a weakness, it’s a strength.
• Be thankful that night turns into day, that goals turn into realities.  Use your positive fuel to reach for tomorrow.

Are you ready to let go?

No Care for Baby Boomers

There are 10,000 Baby Boomers hitting age 65 each day. They’re becoming caregivers, as well as those needing care. People are living longer than ever, and many Boomers will be caring for their children and parents at the same time.

The fact that Boomers had fewer children than earlier generations, and both men and women are living longer, makes a recipe for fewer caregivers in the years to come. It is projected that by 2030 there will be only four potential caregivers available for each person 80 or older, down from a high of more than seven in 2010.

The average caregiver in 2009 was a 49-year-old woman who had a job outside the home and spent nearly 20 hours per week providing unpaid care to her mother, according to a 2011 AARP Public Policy Institute study.

YIKES!! These statistics are frightening! I’m 47 right now, and in 20 years I’ll be 67, with no one to take care of me? It’s a looming thought, and unfortunately a very realistic one. I can no longer hide my head in my electronic devices. ( I would have said “sand” but electronic devices is where my head is these days).

I can already predict that care-giving is not going to be easy for me, or my children when it’s their turn.

I have done web design for several clients who are senior advocates. A senior advocate helps families find the best senior living options for their needs and budget. They talk to you about your loved one’s medical conditions, level of independence, behavioral and nutritional needs, and hobbies. Based on your loved one’s condition, they advise about location and financial resources to narrow your options for care. Many of them are FREE, and are paid by the care facilities.

Where and what condition will your loved be 10 years from now? Maybe you’re already at that care-giving stage. Here are a few questions that you’ll want to explore:

Does your loved one have advanced health care insurance? How much does it cover and how long does it last? Are they eligible for Medicare?, What about an advanced health care directive or a will? Where’s the mortgage, the title to the car, bank accounts, insurance policies, stocks and bonds? Is an Estate Plan needed? Who in the family should have power of attorney, legal and medical, to keep track of end of life wishes and ensure they’re carried out? AARP’s 35 questions for an aging parent

The health of your aging loved one is something to certainly consider in the coming years. Women are especially living longer without husbands, so planning for your parent or loved one’s future, both medically and financially now, is critical before things become a crisis.

Autumn, time for a change

Right now I’d love to hold on to August and the warm summer days indefinitely, but like it or not, September is just around the corner. The hustle and bustle and business of work, school and sports will once again take charge of our lives.

I will treasure the time that my daughter and I spent together this summer while she was home from college. She was away working at a Christian camp most of the summer, but the last few weeks I’ve enjoyed her company. We shopped, and tore through our movie list that we made at the beginning of the summer. She’s off to college again this weekend. I will miss her.

As the autumn comes, the trees change color, lose their leaves, and the weather gets cooler. As we gear up for another Fall season, it is the best time to take full responsibility of what happened in the previous seasons, both good and bad. We must remember that the crops that were harvested during the summer, produces the fruit that sustains us through the barren season.

Seasons of Life

Those nasty little Arachnids are about to make their debut again this August in Southern California, hanging from the trees as they travel furiously back and forth, spinning their little webs at dusk. The one thing I do like about the Lord’s changing nature seasons, is that they are somewhat predictable. God’s simple creatures anticipate, and appreciate the seasons. Their circadian clock never fails to kick in when it’s time.

I think sometimes as we age, we fight God’s seasons, anticipating the worst. We begrudgingly deal with our less-than-pleasant present: a regimen of chemo, financial setbacks, the empty nest. Are you experiencing a winter of discouragement, cold and icy through your soul?

Success in life is often cyclical. Success doesn’t last forever. Soon the winds of change will come, and everything will be dead and barren. But the Lord gave us TIME. ( Ecclesiastes 3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven). Time allows us to take advantage of the season among us, to adjust to its newness, and prepare once again to settle into some sort of routine.

What season of life are you in? Whatever your season, embrace the opportunities of life.